Anti anti-ageing


While scientists relentlessly look for anti-ageing formulae, the alchemy of modern times, I feel at peace without it. Of course, like any normal person, I wish to remain fit and healthy but when it comes to cosmetology I would like age to takes it normal course. I am happy with the wrinkles being added daily to my pushing-40 skin; I am happy with my necklines becoming deeper and I am in no hurry to apply a hair colour to mask my grey hair. No, I am not lazy or being miser, I have just realized something and it took me many years to come to this conclusion.

I would be for once and all taken seriously.

I would be (hopefully) not leched upon or at least the degree of leching would come down.

I would not be told by people especially of my own age on how to go about things just because I happen to ‘look’ younger.

Youth is beautiful undoubtedly but it comes with too many burdens, many of them expressed above. I have come past my youth biologically and really, I don’t miss anything about it. They were the most unproductive years of my life. Useless crushes (men who have now a pot-belly and are bald), stupid fights with sibling, parents and friends and being unfocused was what my youth was all about.

As I am pushing into my 40s, mentally I feel I have grown a lot stronger. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve and Mr. Darcy, I know is just there in the books. Although, a very dear friend of mine refused to let me cross a busy road on my own when I was visiting her place! And she is good nine years younger than I am! Or is it to do with my physical self? Besides being a shorty, the ageing process is taking its sweet time (blame my genes from my mum’s). So I may not be looking say in my 20’s but neither do I appear to be in the reaching-40s zone..yet!

I feel empowered when I am called, ‘aunty’ by my daughter’s friends. It is not awkward any longer. It puts my brain then in an autopilot ‘older’ mode. I do remember how one of my aunts hates being called ‘mataji’ despite being in her 50s! But then, to each his/her own!

So goodbye to all the creams and lotions with ‘anti-ageing’ properties!  I want to walk on the streets comfortably not having to look at my clothes and wonder what I wore wrong that is making these nothing-else-to-do men on the street stare at me. I want to do the telling and not be told( unless of course I am being told by my folks!). I want to relax.  Something that youth denies you.

(image courtesy:

Old hands too many


Two somewhat similar experiences last week made me think if it was something in me that needed to change or was it just ‘them’. By them I mean the older generation – who are at least two decades older than me. Eerily, both these incidents had similar themes: trying to tell off my 10-year old daughter in my very presence. The first was when she was surrounded, like everyday,  by her favourite stray dogs in the park. I was standing next to her. The gentleman who was on his evening stroll stopped by and told her to not to play with them as they could bite. The second gentleman happened to honk his car horn so loud while we were turning on the road on our bi-cycles that my daughter in panic applied the brakes there and then. He then happened to stop his car and roll down his co-passenger side window to tell me to tell my daughter to never apply brakes while turning   .

In both the above incidents I snapped at them, albeit politely (at least I thought I was polite). To the first one I said that she wasn’t playing with the dogs. Technically, she wasn’t ‘playing’ with them . They were just around her and she happened to like that. And to the second one, I said that if he didn’t honk his horn that loud she wouldn’t have stopped the cycle suddenly. The first fellow just left without any further advise and continued with his walk while the second one stopped his car again after we resumed on our bi-cycles to tell me that he only stopped by to tell me this as he would have told his daughter. I said a ‘thank you’ with an undertone of irritation.

Was it necessary for them to give their two bits when they knew a parent was present with the child or was I overreacting? Was it to tell me indirectly that I didn’t perform my parental duties properly and needed somebody with many years of more experience to tell me that? Or is it that that generation in particular believes in speaking its mind irrespective of the reaction and pass on their years of wisdom just to anyone and anywhere?

Yes I did feel sorry for the way I reacted. It also later on made me imagine that perhaps that they didn’t have a happy home where they lived with their grandchildren but couldn’t tell them off due to family limitations (evil daughters-in-law? rude grandchildren?). My imagination just took off to another level altogether as I perhaps wanted to cover up my guilt.

All in all, I am not claiming that I make a great and a perfect mother but really I can do without strangers, even in the garb of old age, giving me or my child (in my presence) a piece of advise when it is absolutely not required.

(illustration courtesy: