Hail Sisterhood!

sisterhood collage

When I look at my little niece and nephew sometimes on video-chats I know they are in for a fabulous childhood together. Something that they will realize later. I have the fondest of childhood memories with my brother who is a year younger than me. However, as years go by and life makes us take different paths, I see around me that siblings of same sex bond better as time goes by and they are able to transform this doting filial relationship to something much better – a lifelong friendship.

It could be a mere hypothesis and I don’t have the stats to support me but when I see such sets of siblings – same sex versus different I am more than certain. My cousins, two of my best friends and the best example at home – my mum support my hypothesis strongly! Mum’s younger sister, my darling aunt lives many miles away from us yet I see the two of them talking, confessing, gossiping, sharing just about everything with each other over the phone every day. Sometimes I see mum brooding over my aunt’s antics but she nevertheless jumps to take her call when it happens. And it is just not a sister thing! I have seen brothers too gelling stronger with each other.

A few months before, my cousin was over at our place with my same darling aunt. His uber-cool elder brother, who studies down South, had been cribbing to his mom to get him a posh laptop to which she had strictly put her foot down. Only a few months ago he had lost his expensive mobile phone. His quieter younger brother, while talking to me as we took a stroll to the shops nearby, said that he would ensure that his mum bought his brother that laptop. And he sure did! A few weeks later I saw the elder cousin flashing his laptop on Snapchat! And to come to think of it, these brothers were daily at loggerheads with each other as little boys and the elder one was an absolute bully!

As time flows and childhood gives way to adulthood you can relate better – physiologically and even psychologically with your own sex and if you have a same-sex sibling that’s a cherry on the cake!

As the world is shrinking everyday owing to the technological advancements happening at a rapid pace, communication with my brother is on a decline. We both have FaceTime on our Iphone but we barely talk and even when we do, it is mostly cursory. And if the talk does get long, it is simply because I end up talking (and enjoying) more with his cherubim-like kids and my sister-in-law than him!  No regrets here and I know we are there for each other. Just a thought really! 🙂

 

(collage on top: From Facebook archives  (L to R and Top to bottom): –  J, Ritz n I (2015), Bitty n I (2012 ) and Div, I and Shrab (2010??)

Likeminded, with one and many

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Is it possible to be likeminded with one in some respects and likeminded with the other in other respects? I am reminded of Queen Draupadi from the ancient Indian mythology, who in a boon had asked for fourteen qualities to be in her prospective husband and in return she was married off to five brothers who happened to have those qualities collectively!  This is not about spouses (as I am pretty pleased with my single status quo) but about likemindedness in one individual or one group. Finding that someone with similar tastes, likings and opinions is very unlikely or rare.

Some variegated type of people who I met in different times and who are from different walks of life ended up being my very close friends. They all fulfil one (or maybe more) of my many likeminded-ness.

If A is outright gregarious, B is downright a happy-at-home mommy. And I just happen to find myself at ease with all of them. Conversations flow smoothly. There is no need of role-playing with either. I am myself. Yet they are all so different from each other. It is no wonder then that they disapprove my other set of friends and tell me their mind about the other without any hesitation. Thanks to Facebook for that– the only networking place where all my darlings are under one roof (I shudder at the thought of having them together in the real world for I can visualize many unhappy, bored faces) where photos and check-ins keeps everyone about the others updated. My school friends do know about my college friends and office friends and vice versa. Some of them have even happened to work in the same place.

If the type of friends determines your personality then mine must be indeed chaotic! If at one moment I am happily being a pillion-rider on a friend’s newly-purchased Harley Davidson with blaring dead metal on, then the next moment I am gladly hearing marital woes of another! If one is a Shylock when dealing with money the other has his wallet ever ready for any cause! They are chalk and cheese yet they are my buddies…friends not likeminded for one other but hand-in-glove for me!

Perhaps, they also fulfil another role: of keeping me in check and balance. I am not getting a dose of just one personality that can inflict upon me inadvertently! When I get down the Harley Davidson I know that on another day there is another darling friend to ride me safely back home in his second-hand scooter after a nice movie!

5 husbands, I do not know! Likeminded friends, galore!

(image courtesy:  http://www.gertrudehawkchocolates.com/resource/image/product/xlarge/5D44460D-E6FF-144A-0F3FF4CEF52ABC01.jpg)

Anti anti-ageing

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While scientists relentlessly look for anti-ageing formulae, the alchemy of modern times, I feel at peace without it. Of course, like any normal person, I wish to remain fit and healthy but when it comes to cosmetology I would like age to takes it normal course. I am happy with the wrinkles being added daily to my pushing-40 skin; I am happy with my necklines becoming deeper and I am in no hurry to apply a hair colour to mask my grey hair. No, I am not lazy or being miser, I have just realized something and it took me many years to come to this conclusion.

I would be for once and all taken seriously.

I would be (hopefully) not leched upon or at least the degree of leching would come down.

I would not be told by people especially of my own age on how to go about things just because I happen to ‘look’ younger.

Youth is beautiful undoubtedly but it comes with too many burdens, many of them expressed above. I have come past my youth biologically and really, I don’t miss anything about it. They were the most unproductive years of my life. Useless crushes (men who have now a pot-belly and are bald), stupid fights with sibling, parents and friends and being unfocused was what my youth was all about.

As I am pushing into my 40s, mentally I feel I have grown a lot stronger. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve and Mr. Darcy, I know is just there in the books. Although, a very dear friend of mine refused to let me cross a busy road on my own when I was visiting her place! And she is good nine years younger than I am! Or is it to do with my physical self? Besides being a shorty, the ageing process is taking its sweet time (blame my genes from my mum’s). So I may not be looking say in my 20’s but neither do I appear to be in the reaching-40s zone..yet!

I feel empowered when I am called, ‘aunty’ by my daughter’s friends. It is not awkward any longer. It puts my brain then in an autopilot ‘older’ mode. I do remember how one of my aunts hates being called ‘mataji’ despite being in her 50s! But then, to each his/her own!

So goodbye to all the creams and lotions with ‘anti-ageing’ properties!  I want to walk on the streets comfortably not having to look at my clothes and wonder what I wore wrong that is making these nothing-else-to-do men on the street stare at me. I want to do the telling and not be told( unless of course I am being told by my folks!). I want to relax.  Something that youth denies you.

(image courtesy:  http://www.toonpool.com/user/83616/files/beauty_salon_cartoon_1984055.jpg)